Overheard in Chicago

On a trolley:
Bus driver's radio: The guy who exposed himself to me earlier is back, and trying to force his way onto the bus system.

Guy at art museum trying to impress his equally dumb girlfriend: They created chain mail so that when they were swimming with sharks they would be safe because the shark's teeth cannot penetrate the chain mail.

Girl at outdoor mall, coming out of claire's with a plastic crown on her head: I can't take my bag of magic with me to the prom!