Overheard in the Flyover Zone

Are We Supposed to Be Surprised by This?

2011-10-17T16:12:00.000-05:00

Headline:
"Homicide Victims Rarely Talk to Police"

Serenity and.... Violence?

2011-08-25T09:22:00.000-05:00

In Other News...
The young man told police that he was stabbed at the Serenity Salon.

Names Mean Things, Too

2011-08-15T12:16:00.000-05:00

I saw a little boy in a store grab a toy rifle and begin *shooting* it everywhere, at everything and everyone. His Mom said, "Hunter, stop that!"

I'm thinking that if she *really* didn't want her kid shooting guns all the time, she probably shouldn't have named him HUNTER in the first place.

Not Even in Munchkin Land

2010-12-22T09:38:00.001-06:00

Weather-babe on a national morning "news" show: "They've got 17 feet of snow on the ground -- 17 feet! That's like the equivalent of a 7-story building!!!"

Worried About the State of Education Today?

2010-12-16T10:53:00.001-06:00

While discussing how parents can effectively help children with homework, the teacher replied: "Well, we give 'em CD's to learn 'em the stuff."

Halloween Brings Them ALL Out!

2010-10-31T16:21:00.000-05:00

Little guy, a couple of aisles over from me at Walmart, kept singing out.
"Buttmaaaaaaan! Buttmaaaaaaaan!" But then, it IS Halloween, so maybe I should have checked to see if he was wearing a superhero costume. Perhaps Alfred was pushing him & Robin in the cart. However, I didn't hear the Butt-Phone ringing or notice any Butt-Signal shining in the sky.

On a TV Home Improvement Show...

2010-10-17T22:17:00.000-05:00

"...finishing the basement is like creating a whole new level for a home..."

This is true! Because very few basements are found on the main floor! Even fewer are located upstairs!!

Where???

2010-10-17T22:07:00.002-05:00

"...the stabbing occurred at the Hang-Over Bar..."

Need I say more?

Checking the Calendar...

2010-02-19T10:26:00.002-06:00

I got a bill in the mail with a due date of 2/30/2010. Does that mean I don't have to pay it???

Do You Even Know the Meaning of That Word?

2010-02-19T10:10:00.002-06:00

"Minorities are outnumbered in this town!"

On the nightly news...

2007-09-24T16:36:00.001-05:00

"Reality can happen to anybody."

Overheard in Chicago

2007-05-25T20:43:00.000-05:00

On a trolley:
Bus driver's radio: The guy who exposed himself to me earlier is back, and trying to force his way onto the bus system.

Guy at art museum trying to impress his equally dumb girlfriend: They created chain mail so that when they were swimming with sharks they would be safe because the shark's teeth cannot penetrate the chain mail.

Girl at outdoor mall, coming out of claire's with a plastic crown on her head: I can't take my bag of magic with me to the prom!

Random Quote from Conversation

2007-04-01T23:26:00.000-05:00

In the most rediculous episode of Buffy...

Registering

2007-03-09T18:22:00.000-06:00

Steven! We should go register together.

Steven: For what?

We could register for things like garlic presses.

Steven: Who uses a garlic press?

No one, that's the point, we can return it for the cash!

'Tis the season for all things creepy...

2006-10-27T14:12:00.000-05:00

Hanging from the rear view mirror in a pick-up truck in the Wal-Mart parking lot today was what appeared to be an animal skull, jaw opened wide as though about to take a large bite out of the steering wheel. The skull must have been from a long-snouted dog and looked eerily authentic, except for the odd fur piece attached to the top and draping down its back. Yes, your mental image is correct: dog skull with mullet.

Trick or treat.

Customer walking by on cell phone:

2006-10-27T14:08:00.000-05:00

"...and then she says, 'Oh, we got these in, too!' and holds up one of those cats with the feather duster and apron."

Remind me not to shop in her store.

Overheard by a Friend

2006-10-26T18:53:00.000-05:00

Yesterday at work (Kmart), I heard the funniest announcement:

"Attention, Kmart shoppers. Would the customer who parked their blue Taurus in our cart corral, please move your car, so we can get the carts out?!"

(Thanks to MichelleD from the WAH board)

Girl sipping her Caribou Coffee:

2006-10-25T11:39:00.000-05:00

"I'm enjoying my cup of yuppiehood."

Girl visiting Minneapolis/St. Paul:

2006-10-25T11:37:00.000-05:00

"I love this town. It's like going down Mulberry Street!"

Homeschool T-shirts

2006-10-25T11:23:00.000-05:00

I found these great t-shirt slogans for homeschoolers, and I just have to share them:

My mom is my teacher --
Forget the apple, bring CHOCOLATE!

Yes, I have school today.
I am homeschooled.
Welcome to my classroom.

Warning: unsocialized homeschooler
Prepare for independent thinking

I think, therefore I homeschool.

My homeschooled kid might consider your kid for an entry-level position.

I've been to public school...
It's why I homeschool.

Very social and homeschooled
Who would have thought?

The last thing I need is what YOU call socialization.

Yes, I'm a homeschooler.
(But I'll try to use small words so you don't get confused.)

Socialization is overrated

Homeschoolers on board
We brake for field trips

I [heart] my sheltered children

There are no bullies at recess;
we homeschool!

Homeschoolers have class everywhere

Home drooler [on baby shirt]

Future Homeschooler [on baby/toddler shirt]

I am homeschooled, therefore I think.

My homeschooled child is smarter than YOU are!

The world is my classroom!

Sit... Stay... Good Kid.
(Another lesson brought to you by the Public Schools)

Class begins promptly at NOON

By the time I die or my student goes off to college (which ever comes first) I will have uttered trillions of words. Yes, I homeschool.

Not a denim jumper

When it comes to school, there's no place like home.

My mom homeschools me because she doesn't want me to scare the teachers.

Militant Homeschooler

In a class of my own

Dad is my teacher -- save the apple and bring COFFEE

Everything I need to know in life, I've learned by teaching homeschool.

Homeschool Schedule
1. Wake up
2. Start learning

Born to be homeschooled [on baby shirt]

Football

2006-10-22T15:03:00.000-05:00

Boyfriend watching the Packers (playing the Dolphins) with my teddy bear: That's right we eat dolphins in our tuna! We don't like dolphin-safe tuna.

Parenting and Privileges

2006-10-02T17:39:00.000-05:00

Overheard at an Art Fair --

Girl, approximately 8-10 years old, was talking to Dad. She was facing away from me, so I could only hear Dad's responses to her. She seemed to be hungry, but reluctant to eat the few snack foods stashed behind their booth.

Dad, in giving her permission to walk to the nearby food tents and purchase anything that suited her palate, says: "Ariana, you're not in Italy any more. You're with Fun Daddy!"

Check please!

2006-09-30T17:31:00.000-05:00

The Travel Channel on worlds greatest log cabins: "built with materials including reclaimed fur from bats, this spacious living room..."

2006-09-20T22:11:00.000-05:00

Guy: Question for ya, if the world was ending, in like a matter of hours, because, you know, the end of the world was coming...

Redefining "whole" foods

2006-09-19T12:27:00.000-05:00

Mother: "Did you cut up the walnuts in these brownies? I just tried to cut a brownie, and the knife detoured around a large nut!"
Daughter: "Of course I didn't cut the walnuts. You can't taste them if the pieces are too small. And besides, I'm trying to eat more whole foods!" (wink wink)

chickens and birthdays

2006-08-27T12:24:00.000-05:00

In line at scheels, where an apparently intimidatingly good-looking young man is checking out a whole line of people.
Girl #1 shoves some money, a package of candy, and a lanyard at her friend, "I'm gonna go wait outside the store"
Girl #2: you are such a chicken!
Girl #1: I know... in colorado someone had to order food for me.
Girl #2: You're kidding me.
Girl #1: At least I'm better than Abby! She can't stand to cut up her own meat!
Girl #2: I guess you're right.
Girl #1: Bye
Girl #2: Ok... dork!
Girls #3&4: Where's sasha?
Girl #2: Outside, she's afriad to check out.

The line finally gets to me and I hand off a birthday card - you know you're little brother is cool when you have to wait in line to give him his card!

Overheard At Work

2006-08-09T19:03:00.000-05:00

Associate trying to guilt her boss: Do you know how much it costs me to come to work? With the gas prices at $2.92, it costs me $8.48 a day. I get 22 miles per gallon, and it's 22 miles to work and 22 miles back.

The IQ points?

2006-07-24T20:41:00.000-05:00

Woman at grocery store, talking to deli guy: So, is there a difference between the pepper ham and the regular ham?

Apartment Joys

2006-07-15T13:27:00.000-05:00

In discussing how to fill out the check in sheet for the apartment I have just rented we found several things to take pictures of for the form. The awful smell in the closet, however, was not so easy to document. One suggestion was made, "create a scratch and sniff by wiping a cat's butt on a sticker for them."

They must have gotten along well...

2006-07-13T12:46:00.000-05:00

A woman meets up with an old friend while shopping and remarks upon the difference in her since the last meeting, "You look good! You've changed! You shouldn't!"

How about Psych Ward?

2006-07-08T22:59:00.000-05:00

Teen Boy to teen friends: I told my marketing teacher that I'd be a marketing genious!
Friends: Yeah right.
Teen Boy: No really, I can make anything sexual, and sex sells! He started naming off products and I could make any of them sexual.

Words to live by

2006-07-08T22:58:00.000-05:00

Guy: You can't help it if crazy people are crazy.

Getting Perspective

2006-07-06T12:17:00.000-05:00

To the driver who cuts me off in traffic and waves with a hand signal...
To all the people who do their best to irritate me...

"You are a BB bouncing off the tank of God's armor in my life."

--Chip Ingram, CSN Radio

Something New in the Neighborhood

2006-06-30T10:06:00.000-05:00

I was driving through town and noticed something different among the usual "house for sale" and "XYZ Construction" yard signs.

Rent
a
Redneck
###-####

Reasons to shop

2006-06-24T15:03:00.000-05:00

Girl at the mall talking to her boyfriend who is shopping watches: I'm gonna go look at earrings.
Boyfriend: Why?
Girl: 'cause I'm a ho.

house, home, or a good front?

2006-06-18T21:32:00.000-05:00

Woman on cell: Did you go by the duplex by the lake? It looks great from the outside, who knows what it looks like inside, but that's not what matters anyway, is it?

But what is he?

2006-06-16T20:49:00.000-05:00

Prince is like the shortest man ever. Actually, he's the shortest attractive man... That wears make up.... and isn't gay. Yeah. Prince has got to be the shortest, attractive man that wears make up and isn't gay. But all the drag queens seem to imitate him, anyway. But they'll never admit it. Because he's not gay. And they are.

If I Hadn't Seen It with My Own Two Eyes...

2006-06-16T14:48:00.000-05:00

I'm buying some groceries. The cashier is Sudanese. Sudanese.

(waiting until you get the appropriate mental image)

His name tag reads...

(are you ready for this?)

...Albino.

(Would I lie to you?)

The Birds and the Bees

2006-06-15T20:49:00.000-05:00

Woman on cell phone: Did you hear that Sally is pregnant?
(listens while the caller talks)
uhh... sperm!

OBSERVED in the Flyover Zone...

2006-06-15T16:26:00.000-05:00

A car pulled out in front of us last night, heading in the same direction we were going. The car continually weaved from side to side, often crossing over the center line on the two-lane highway, while the driver could be seen waving both of her hands all about, obviously talking very excitedly to her passenger, and seldom bothering to look forward. All oncoming traffic began pulling off onto the shoulder as a speeding Highway Patrol car approached with lights flashing and siren blaring, but the weaving driver in front of us didn't notice it until the last moments, finally pulling back across the center line and onto the shoulder. As soon as it was possible, we passed her, to avoid being forced into the accident she seemed inevitably heading for. As we passed her car, we could see that the driver was clearly not looking at the road ahead, and that she and her passenger were still engaged in their rapid-fire conversation -- in sign language.

Must not have had a mother

2006-06-12T21:46:00.000-05:00

There's just something about brussel sprouts that just sounds scary.

Bumper stickers...

2006-06-05T14:20:00.000-05:00

bumper sticker proudly proclaiming:

treehugger

dirt worshipper

Sign in front of a Steak House:

2006-05-29T19:24:00.000-05:00

"New Steaks and all the Trimmings"

Right... because not many customers were asking for USED steaks, and the OLD steaks were starting to look pretty bad, too.

Recipes

2006-04-26T16:52:00.000-05:00

Mother: Oh no, my recipe is much thinner, I don't use that, my recipe is religious, you know.
Grown daughter: I thought you did use it!
Mother: No, the secret is the mayonnaise.

Expertise

2006-04-16T19:47:00.000-05:00

My friend was really shocked that I was able to name the breed of his dog because it's such a rare breed. Then again, he didn't know how to spell "G.I. Joe."

Bugs already!

2006-04-12T22:43:00.000-05:00

Girl: There's a mosquito in my apartment!
Guy: Did it bite you?
Girl: No, I just noticed a black spot on my wall where there shouldn't be one.
Guy: Did you kill it?
Girl: No, I'm looking for something to kill it, it's up high on the wall.
Guy: I recommend using a chair then.
Girl: That'll leave a dent...

And We're LIVE in 3...2..

2006-04-12T21:53:00.000-05:00

Doing a LIVE radio broadcast can force a person to think very quickly and make up new words on the spur of the moment, like--

Categoristics.

You heard it here first, folks. (Unless, of course, you were listening to the same radio show I was, then you heard it there first.)

Oxymoron of the Day:

2006-04-10T23:36:00.000-05:00

Tempting tofu.

Vacation locations?

2006-04-04T15:52:00.000-05:00

Guy #1: You know, Missouri is like the Tijuana of Iowa.
Guy #2: (in spanish accent) We got yo fireworks, we got casinos.

Ummm... yeah

2006-04-02T16:29:00.000-05:00

I'd say that Monty Python ranks right up there with Red Green.

Apartments are disgusting

2006-03-19T21:26:00.000-06:00

a.k.a. What was found on the kitchen cupboard

"hmm.. I think it's a boogar."

Movies...

2006-03-15T18:15:00.000-06:00

Guy to roommate: I rented Goodnight and Goodluck - whatever the hell that is.

from beyond?

2006-03-13T20:57:00.000-06:00

Guy 1: Hey isn't he dead?
Guy 2: No, not anymore.

Pukey

2006-03-13T00:20:00.000-06:00

Girl: I feel pukey. The idea of a hamburger appeals to me, but then I start to think about eating it and I want to puke.
Guy: I'll just put one in the blender and make it into a drink for you.

"Can I help you?" -- Take #2

2006-03-10T13:56:00.000-06:00

Same guy (as in the story below), different store, different day...

Customer walks into a department store.
Sales Associate: "Can I help you?"
Customer: "I'd like to see a stopwatch."
Sales Associate gets stopwatch out of the counter and shows it to Customer.
Customer looks at the stopwatch, notices it is broken, and tells Associate about it.
Sales Associate gets out another stopwatch.
Customer: "This one is broken, too."
Sales Associate gets out the 3rd and final stopwatch.
Customer: "This one is broken, too."
Sales Associate: "This is all we have. Do you want to buy one or not?"

The 4 scariest words in America: "Can I help you?"

2006-03-08T12:02:00.000-06:00

Guy #1 goes into Brand X Drug Store to get a battery, and from behind sales counter a girl (about 20) says: "Can I help you?"
Guy #1 says: "I need a new battery like this," (and hands her a small battery)
Girl #1 starts looking for battery numbers on boxes, and finally picks out a battery about the size of a watch and tries to verify number on actual battery.
Guy #1, notices she is looking intently at battery the size of a watch and says: "I don't think that's the one."
Meanwhile another customer comes up and needs to buy some things, and she excuses herself to help the second guy.
Guy #2 says: "These things are on sale, aren't they?"
Girl #1 says: "Yes," and rings them up, and then says: "You know, we had a really good sale on gum last week, and I bought a lot of gum, a WHOLE LOT of gum! And you know when I got home, I realized that I don't even like gum. I don't know what I'm going to do with ALL that gum, and I bought a L O T of gum."
Guy #1 is still standing, waiting, and walks back up to counter as she continues to say "a whole lot of gum" and she looks up at Guy #1 and says: "Can I help you?"
Guy #1, dismayed that she doesn't remember him, says: "Yeah, you know that battery in your hand? That’s mine!"
Girl #1: "Oh yeah….I'm not very good at picking out batteries…You should try Brand Z Drug Store... They have a lot more batteries."
Guy #1 goes to Brand Z Drug Store.
Girl #2 (standing about 5 feet away) says: "Can I help you?"
Guy #1 sets his battery on the counter.
Girl #2, without looking at battery, says: "How many do you want?"
Guy #1: "Three."
Girl #2 turns around, gets 3 batteries from a drawer, and says: "That will be $9.21."
Guy #1: "How did you know the battery number?"
Girl #2 smiles and says: "I have been doing this for 30 years."

next to the Louis Batton

2006-03-06T22:17:00.000-06:00

Woman who thought she was better than all others: Where's your Duty and Burke section?

Consider the Source

2006-02-24T20:00:00.000-06:00

Girl watching Olympic speed skating: "Wow. This is boring... and I watch NASCAR."

Compliments

2006-02-23T20:58:00.000-06:00

Guy: I really like your ears, the way they stick out, I mean. They're rather elfish, that's cool.

Guy: Your one ear isn't shining in this picture, it's mostly covered by your hair.

The OTHER white meat

2006-02-23T19:39:00.000-06:00

Check-out lady: (as she rings up my ground pork) That's some might fancy hamburger you got there!

(yes, she actually said "mighty fancy")

and to think that I saw it..

2006-02-23T19:37:00.000-06:00

(not an overheard, but an overseen):

Guy in a truck with trailer, backing quickly around the parking lot of a gas station (and around the pumps, as well) while on a cell phone and smoking.

Words to live by...

2006-02-23T18:31:00.000-06:00

"If you have to swallow a frog, don't look at the frog too long.
If you have to swallow two frogs, swallow the biggest one first."

Just wait for the third movie - Stupidman, starring you!

2006-02-20T16:54:00.000-06:00

Guy in movie store: Hey, have you seen Weatherman?
Movie stocking girl: I rented it, but never watched it.
Guy in movie store: I hear it's a sequel to Anchorman, is that true?

Population Control

2006-02-13T12:35:00.000-06:00

Guy reading name of a man that sounds rather hick (in a hick voice): Come on man, do the world a favor, have your tubes tied! And stop breathing...

Edit: (it is currently under debate whether the last word was actually "breeding" or "breathing". Each are funny.)

In the zoo they are by the polar bears...

2006-02-11T01:12:00.000-06:00

A mother is talking to her teenage daughters: He told you what? Well, that is just not true. A snagglepuss is actually, like, a cousin or something to the platapus. It's in there somewhere, anyway.

Sickness

2006-02-07T14:57:00.000-06:00

Guy: My sinuses aren't doing so well today. Maybe it's because I puked in them earlier.

While watching the Rolling Stones' Superbowl Half-time show:

2006-02-05T19:25:00.000-06:00

"This looks like that last Johnny Depp movie... The Corpse Bride."

Inventing new foods

2006-02-05T14:21:00.000-06:00

-why are the onions out?
-for my BLT
-So, you had a Bolt?

That's an odd picture

2006-01-31T02:06:00.000-06:00

I wish I could turn my head around 180 degrees... and bend my elbow backwards.

Historical Accuracy

2006-01-30T23:31:00.000-06:00

Guy: I'm looking at this half-dollar coin, with Kennedy's head on it, missing a bullet hole.
(a minute later) Well, I guess it would be on the other side, so it's not really missing, you just can't see it.
(another minute later) I guess I could take a drill and fix that.
(yet another minute later) Come to think of it, Lincoln is missing a hole, too.

Out of the Primordial Ooze...

2006-01-26T14:58:00.000-06:00

Evolution is REAL! I opened the dryer, and one of the towels was already perfectly folded!

2006-01-25T22:34:00.000-06:00

Walmart Lady: What is left in the breakroom?
Radio: Uh, a pop, and a dead body.
Walmart Lady: Oh, that's mine!
Radio: We were wondering who left it in here.

(not sure if that is what was said, but that is what came over the radio)

Kids..

2006-01-25T12:55:00.000-06:00

Woman on the phone: They are just naughty whenever I take them out in public! She insists on calling everyone "potty pants". Everyone! And she won't stop for a minute.

WHERE?

2006-01-25T12:52:00.000-06:00

Guy on the phone: I'm in Iowa, you know, next to Chicago...

Soooo at work

2006-01-23T16:33:00.000-06:00

Guy walking through the mall, talking on cell phone: "Yeah, I'm sitting here at my desk, finishing up some emails..."

One small step for man...

2006-01-19T13:04:00.000-06:00

guy: Did you watch the rocket and it's payload blast off this morning? It looked sort of like a giant tampon. You won't think that though, because you actually use them and know what they look like.

From CSN Radio--

2006-01-17T10:56:00.000-06:00

Never wrestle with a pig. You'll both get dirty, but the pig likes it!
--Skip Heitzig

New Fears

2006-01-14T10:56:00.000-06:00

Guy: Nothing scares me.
Girl: Oh yeah? I'll go grab candy, and dangle it in front of my face and see what you say then!
Guy: That's scarey.

Define perfectionist...

2006-01-14T10:55:00.000-06:00

It doesn't have to be perfect, it just has to be a certain way.

The Big Screen

2006-01-13T16:52:00.000-06:00

Girl 1: We went to the movies last weekend.
Girl 2: What did you see?
Girl 1: Brokeback Mountain.
Guy: and Memiors of a GAYsha!

Faces

2006-01-13T16:50:00.000-06:00

Gay 1: What's wrong?
Girl: Nothing's wrong.
Gay 1: No, what is wrong, why are you making that face?
Gay 2: Nothing is wrong. That's the face Taylor always has.

You shouldn't say that in mixed company

2006-01-09T22:34:00.000-06:00

Come here, I'm gonna butter your tail.

I've gone to sleep with happier thoughts 2...

2006-01-09T22:33:00.000-06:00

Just you wait, when you go to sleep tonight I'm gonna stick an attenna up your nose!

I've gone to sleep with happier thoughts...

2006-01-09T17:30:00.000-06:00

I'm going to kill you. In your sleep.

Mm-mm... yuck

2006-01-09T17:29:00.000-06:00

You taste like pickles. Go brush your teeth.

Quote for the new year

2006-01-06T14:48:00.000-06:00

My bell peppers are wet noodlish, which is the way I prefer them.

On the phone

2005-12-31T12:18:00.000-06:00

"You read my lips like a blind man!.."

TMAFS...

2005-12-23T17:36:00.000-06:00

Guy walks by two women: Hey, how are you? Oh, and you too! Nice to see you both! Having a merry Christmas? Yeah, me too. See you later!
1st woman: Wow, I didn't know you knew him, how'd you two meet?
2nd woman: Yeah, my daughter slept with his brother.

What movie?

2005-12-21T16:24:00.000-06:00

Girl: I want to see Narnia.
Father: Oh! I just saw that, it was soooo good. Can you believe they condensed all three books into the one movie? They did a really good job too, you can't even tell that it isn't one book.
Girl: So,.. these three books, have you.. read all of them?

Sign in the Stands

2005-12-11T22:43:00.000-06:00

"dad says packers win we can skip school tomorrow" - sign in the crowd of Green Bay's game

Phone message

2005-12-10T17:33:00.000-06:00

"I have a phone message for you.. Marci says 'thanks for sending the lesbians to me.' Any idea what she means?"

What you like to hear from an attorney:

2005-12-05T12:44:00.000-06:00

This will be fun!
(I could hear the smile on his face over the telephone.)

Overheard at the checkout

2005-12-04T17:21:00.000-06:00

Customer places sweater on counter and asks, "Do you have a tape measure?"

Ovearheard at the mall

2005-12-03T23:41:00.000-06:00

Customer: Where is the nearest coffee shop in here?
Kiosk person: Coffee or Copy shop?
Customer: Well...

Yeah, those are SOOO interchangeable.

MUMBLER!

2005-12-03T01:02:00.000-06:00

Upon entering an apartment building and hearing muffled monotone voices: What, is there a seance here?

Sign in a Store:

2005-12-02T10:30:00.000-06:00

"Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy."
(see photo here)

Christmas smells

2005-11-14T13:55:00.000-06:00

Everything's getting christmas-y at church. Cinnamon is nice-smelling. Except in the ladies bathroom when it mixes with the poop smell.

Breakfast 2

2005-11-13T12:48:00.000-06:00

Girl: My great grandfather used to save the bacon grease to pour over his pancakes like syrup.
Boy: So his pancakes could go "oink oink, I'm dead" too?

Breakfast

2005-11-13T12:40:00.000-06:00

Girl is making pancakes and bacon with her boyfriend who says, "that used to go 'oink oink' you know."

Christmas

2005-11-13T11:25:00.000-06:00

Guy shopping in Christmas ornament section picks up an ornament of ballerina and says "She's not wearing any underware."