On the phone

"You read my lips like a blind man!.."

TMAFS...

Guy walks by two women: Hey, how are you? Oh, and you too! Nice to see you both! Having a merry Christmas? Yeah, me too. See you later!
1st woman: Wow, I didn't know you knew him, how'd you two meet?
2nd woman: Yeah, my daughter slept with his brother.

What movie?

Girl: I want to see Narnia.
Father: Oh! I just saw that, it was soooo good. Can you believe they condensed all three books into the one movie? They did a really good job too, you can't even tell that it isn't one book.
Girl: So,.. these three books, have you.. read all of them?

Sign in the Stands

"dad says packers win we can skip school tomorrow" - sign in the crowd of Green Bay's game

Phone message

"I have a phone message for you.. Marci says 'thanks for sending the lesbians to me.' Any idea what she means?"

What you like to hear from an attorney:

This will be fun!
(I could hear the smile on his face over the telephone.)

Overheard at the checkout

Customer places sweater on counter and asks, "Do you have a tape measure?"

Ovearheard at the mall

Customer: Where is the nearest coffee shop in here?
Kiosk person: Coffee or Copy shop?
Customer: Well...



Yeah, those are SOOO interchangeable.

MUMBLER!

Upon entering an apartment building and hearing muffled monotone voices: What, is there a seance here?

Sign in a Store:

"Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy."
(see photo here)