Said by a tramatized-by-tv girl

I want rotting leper-flesh pizza!

Speaking of the college cafeteria...

There are times when eating gets ruined by the food.

overheard at target

Target person 1 over walkytalky: Can I get some crack to aisle 2?
Target Person 2: SOME WHAT?
Target 1: Some crack - you know, Kraft Monterey Jack.
Target 2: OH!

Ovearheard at work

Woman 1: We went to see "The 40 Year Old Virgin" - it was awful!
Woman 2: Didn't you know what it was about?
Woman 1: No!

Overheard while watching "Sahara"

Scene: Guy is tapping on containers to see which one contains a bomb.
Guy watching movie: "Nuclear waste... nuclear waste... nuclear waste... GOOSE!"

Overheard in the Mall Bathrooms

Woman 1: So why is it that no one is at your house?
Woman 2: Would you want to deal with the 2 year olds?


Woman 1: My husband doesn't like me to wear these shoes [flip flops] because of the noise they make.
Woman 2: Ya, I have the same problem! Listen to this, I was at the bookstore one tome and this guy was sitting and reading and he just went off on me. He was like "Can't you pick up your feet", and "be quieter", and "da da da da da da da" - I think he was a little touched. I don't know what peoples' problems are!

Dress Code

Person 1: We're allowed to wear gaucho pants, but not capris? Why is that?
Person 2: Yeah, I think it might be because the gauchos are rather culotte-y and look like a skirt.
Person 1: Culottey? Is that like some new cold espresso drink?

It's quiet around here....

"Apparently my phone number has changed."

Overheard during Trivial Pursuit

Person 1: Sierra Lione? What kind of country has a two word name?
Person 2: United States?
Person 1: That's three words - "United States of America".

Overheard by Taylor

I have a new bruise, I don't know what it's from - maybe a sword.

Russel Stover Turtles

Did we bring pecan things of joy? We didn't? You can't leave home without those things! They're like crack, you can't leave home without crack!

Overheard in BMX dirt bike competition

Announcer: He's so consistant, no one does it better! He's got the consistancy of, ya know, whatever.

Overheard At Work

There isn't a person, well, not a whole person, in the entire department.

Beauty is in the eye of the sign beholder

Customer 1: Hey, look at this! It's gorgeous!
Customer 2: Um.. no.
Customer 1: But it's only $7.99!
Customer 2: Wow! That is beautiful!
Customer 1: I think I'll get it for Suzie.
Customer 2: I was just gonna get her some clearance jewelry junk, this is much better.

If a dog was the teacher...

If a dog was the teacher you would learn stuff like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.

Let others know when they've invaded your territory.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout..! run right back and make friends.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you're not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

Overheard at the mall

Upon being questioned about a pair of shoes that she owns
"of course I don't WALK in them, those are my SITTING shoes."

...watching TV...

Girl (laughing at the FabFive): "They're as gay as it gets -- but sometimes they're funny!"