The IQ points?

Woman at grocery store, talking to deli guy: So, is there a difference between the pepper ham and the regular ham?

Apartment Joys

In discussing how to fill out the check in sheet for the apartment I have just rented we found several things to take pictures of for the form. The awful smell in the closet, however, was not so easy to document. One suggestion was made, "create a scratch and sniff by wiping a cat's butt on a sticker for them."

They must have gotten along well...

A woman meets up with an old friend while shopping and remarks upon the difference in her since the last meeting, "You look good! You've changed! You shouldn't!"

How about Psych Ward?

Teen Boy to teen friends: I told my marketing teacher that I'd be a marketing genious!
Friends: Yeah right.
Teen Boy: No really, I can make anything sexual, and sex sells! He started naming off products and I could make any of them sexual.

Words to live by

Guy: You can't help it if crazy people are crazy.

Getting Perspective

To the driver who cuts me off in traffic and waves with a hand signal...
To all the people who do their best to irritate me...

"You are a BB bouncing off the tank of God's armor in my life."

--Chip Ingram, CSN Radio